If You Give the Doctor a Fish Stick
by Punzie the Platypus
Summary: . . . he'll want some custard to go with it. Inspired by and based on 'If You Give a Pig a Pancake.'


_**Soli Deo gloria**_

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Doctor Who, Cinderella, Pandora's Box, Little Red Riding Hood, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, Grimm Brothers' Fairytales, or If You Give a Pig a Pancake. XD**

If you give the Doctor a fish stick, he'll want some custard to go with it.

While you're bustlin' about your icebox searchin' for custard, the Doctor will get bored. He will look around your house, like it's a game of hide-and-seek.

He will find your favorite books, like Alice in Wonderland and Little Red Riding Hood and Grimm Brothers and Pandora's Box. He will ask you if you want to go to a different world.

He will skip through your garden and show you his special time machine, called the TARDIS. It is beautiful dark blue and amazing, with so many rooms.

The Doctor will see your amazement and see that you're still in your pajamas. He will go bounding through the rooms and happen upon one full of different clothes.

You will dress in a warm coat, hat, and long, long pretty scarf. You will remind him of someone he used to know, and he will ramble and tell you things like he's a Time Lord and he stole his TARDIS. He will want to prove himself to you. So he will press some buttons and pull some levers, and his TARDIS will make a horrible noise. He will say, "Hold on, Pond. Gosh, I love that sound," and the door will open to Wonderland.

You will find Alice, and the Doctor will find a Rabbit. He will go after the Rabbit, and you will run after him. You'll find yourself at a tea party full of sleepy mice and fantastic mad hatters. You and the Doctor will drink lots of tea. Then the Doctor will notice that the Rabbit is gone, and he will drag you to the Red Queen's castle.

There the Doctor will find a cricket mallet, and challenge you to a game of cricket. You two will play and see playing cards running away from dripping red roses. The Red Queen will come and challenge you to a roaring game of cricket. And the Doctor will eagerly accept.

He and the Queen become best friends until you beat her at cricket. Then her face will turn red and her fists will shake and she will demand "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"

You and the Doctor will stand trial for your lives. Then the Doctor talks the Queen out of it and insults her. He will giggle as her minions and guards and her screams run after you two. You hop through a door and end up in a room with two little cups. The Doctor will drink one and so you will too. You grow huge and he shrinks tiny. He will find a key and unlock a door.

It opens to a ballroom with a gorgeously dressed lady in glass slippers. She will talk kindly to the Doctor. He will want to dance with her.

Dancing makes him thirsty. He will ask for a drink. You get him one and he will grow back. You take a drink and grow smaller, normal.

The Prince discovers the Doctor danced with his lady and you two will run. The Doctor will have swiped a few snacks from the tables as you two run through countless doors back to his magic machine. One of the snacks will be fish sticks.

The Doctor, in his excitement about fish sticks, will want to go to a harbor. You land in New England and discover some old fishermen on a boat. The Doctor will want to go fishing.

The Doctor will make you bait his hook and pull him in when he catches a shark. He will catch the biggest shark on the entire Eastern Seaboard. He will get his picture taken for the local newspaper.

His picture will garner some old friends. Cybermen and Daleks show up. The Doctor makes the fishermen an army and they defeat them with old bait and fish guts. Sparks fly and the Doctor will cheer. And you will be tired.

The TARDIS will take on a mind of its own and take you to Neverland. You will step out in Peter Pan's cave. The Doctor will become best buds with Peter and the Lost Boys. Tinker Bell will hate you. Peter will show him how he can fly and the Doctor will ask about the different speed at which the time of this Island goes.

You will want to catch a nap. You sleep in the cave while the Doctor and Peter and the Lost Boys go to see the Indians and Skull Rock. You will then get kidnapped by Captain Hook when you wake up and go looking for them.

Captain Hook will give you two options: join his crew or walk the plank. And you answer with a definite, defiant tilt of your chin that you _will _walk the plank, thank you very much.

The Doctor will have become friends with the Ticking Crocodile in the ocean and see you start to walk the plank. He will want to save you. He races off and gets into his TARDIS.

You will fall off the plank bravely. And land in the pool of the Doctor's TARDIS. He and the Lost Boys and Peter Pan and the Crocodile will taunt Captain Hook before flying off.

You will return home at the crack of dawn, exhausted. The Doctor will hop out, excited. He will remember seeing some custard at the ball as well, and wants some. He will say "Time for breakfast, Pond."

And chances are, if the Doctor wants some custard—

—he will want a fish stick to go with it.

**Thanks for reading! God bless ya!**


End file.
